Why men struggle?
The truth is that the world has changed. Along with the world so has the role of the man changed. If you cannot change with it you are bound to lose to those who have changed. Or compete in the shrinking pool of those women who have not yet changed either.
The past roles and models for men:
In the past the work of man and woman were defined by the need to optimize work in order to get the best possible outcome from few resources in order to survive. Men were more physical than women so it was smart to make men do the physically requiring work while the less physically requiring works like household and taking care of children were left to women. This is a hyperbole but in essence anyway. This division formed solely because physical work was often a necessity for survival and it was more effective for the family unit if man did it.
The future is now old man:
Today the necessity to do physical work has diminished massively and instead both men and women are required to work for 8 hours a day to establishing a living. On the other hand we live in abundance where you can have a semi comfortable life without having to min-max every aspect of your life for survival. This leads to a situation where the work that used to be mostly for women is now to be shared equally among men and women.
If men still live in the past and see these necessities to be beneath them, as work only suited for women, you have arrived at the problem. Men who refuse to do the work home do not provide their whole expected work output for the benefit of the family unit as a whole. Leading to women doing more over all work and having less free time with men that have old fashioned values compared to men who do these works equally. Also the attitude matters, nobody likes to work or live with a person who thinks they are above you and the necessary work you do, even if they still do it.
The hierachy of needs
In a society where women earn their own living and society has established rules to protect them. There is no need for men in the traditional sense as a provider and protector of the family. This leads to women seeking a partner that can put work on the relationship in the higher steps of the hierarchy pyramid.
This is where emotional skills come in to play in maintaining a relationship. If men have poor emotional skills they will struggle to fulfill those higher level needs that have become common and usually even a basic requirement for women. Of course if a man doesnt even fullfill the bottom of the pyramid then it’s even harder for them to find a relationship.
In conclusion:
Men suffer when they follow old roles of what a man should be in a world that no longer has those roles set in stone. Most jobs that were previously seen as jobs only for women have become a job for both genders. Aspects of human nature like emotions that were seen only as feminine traits are also in high demand for both genders. And attitudes that try to diminish the jobs and emotional skills are seen as repulsive.
Why men fail themselves
Comparison is the killer of fun. A lot of men seek very narrow beauty standards that are set by other men than themselves. Most men rather be unhappy and alone than seek healthy relationships even with women they’d like but who they think their friends would not see as desirable. Which is quite dumb tbh.
Of course one of the reasons for mens despair is the gamefication of dating. It’s hard to show emotional skills and equality in house work if you can’t even get a date. There is no silver bullet to this. What helps is the basic stuff of getting in decent shape or attain a personality that atracts women outside dating apps. I’m not extra fit or handomse, but if you make women laugh they’ll have their eyes closed and it doesnt matter, it’s pure science. Easiest thing you can do is to put effort in your online profile or your appearance when in public.
Attain self-respect and confidence, but don’t mistake those for arrogance or requirement to hide and deny your mistakes.